Let’s just say YES to creating deeper online relationships

Art for Bloom Your Online Relationships Challenge

When I was a baby coach in the mid 1990s, the Internet was new territory. I had lots of time, few clients, and a huge appetite for learning and connection. That led to my first (“Look, Ma! I built it myself!) Web site, developing and leading courses at womenconnect.com (one of the first online communities), facilitating AOL interest groups, and writing my ezine, then known as The New Leaf.

When I started the The New Leaf, there were very few non-technology email newsletters in existence. There was *nothing* in the air about list-building. I got subscribers the old-fashioned way, by writing from the heart about things that I cared about and that I thought would serve others.

16 years later the online landscape has changed radically. Hype-filled strategies for building email lists abound. Our inboxes are overflowing with what Andrew J. Lee calls info-crap.

If you’re like me, the constant messages to grow bigger and do more “epic” things rankle. Sure, we all need to think about smart ways to generate new business, but can’t we do it without sacrificing our humanity?

Of course we can.

I know from personal experience that it’s possible to build meaningful business relationships online. That’s why I’ve signed on to help lead a new kind of 30-day challenge: The Bloom Your Online Relationships project produced by my friend and colleague, Tea Silvestre of StoryBistro.com.

Throughout the month of September, I and 29 other gorgeous humans will share our best actionable tips for deepening online relationships.

Participation won’t cost you any money. Instead, you’re invited to invest just a few minutes each day in small steps toward richer, more meaningful interactions with those you’re already connected to online.

You can get all the details and sign up here: storybistro.com/bloom-audience-30-day-challenge/

I hope you’ll join in the challenge!


Posted in Authenticity, Community, Getting clients, Marketing, Meaning, Serving others | Leave a comment

How to have more good ideas when you need them

Relaxing your mind and engaging with life are the keys to having your next really good idea. 

If you’d like help tuning into the best ideas for your life, career, or business, I’d love to help. I have two openings for coaching in September and October. Click below for more info.

Posted in Community, Creativity, Emotional intelligence, Mind, Success, Thought, Three Principles | Leave a comment

Can the Three Principles prevent suicide or suffering?

I’ve been a spiritual seeker for almost as long as I can remember. As a child I longed to please God. I prayed for visions of the Virgin Mary. I aspired to sainthood. Now at 61 my understanding is substantially different, but I believe the fundamental nature of being drawn into union with an infinite Whole is the same.

For the past 18 months I have been immersing myself in The Three Principles, an articulation of perennial spiritual wisdom shared by a man named Sydney Banks. I’ve been drawn to the Principles because of their simplicity and clarity. I’ve been fortunate to study with and be mentored by some of Syd’s original students. My understanding of the Principles has has a profound impact on my day to day experience of wellbeing, and I am deeply grateful for all that I have learned.

This post is about a shadow side of spiritual development. It was prompted by conversations on Facebook among Three Principles practitioners regretting that people like Robin Williams were not exposed to the Three Principles in time to save their lives.

I was saddened this week  by Robin Williams’s suicide. It moved me deeply, and it caused me to reflect deeply about spiritual principles, emotional healing, and how I’ve been holding the Three Principles.

There’s a way in which I have looked to the Three Principles and to other spiritual understandings in the past for a way out of the human condition. I’d love for spiritual understanding to inoculate me and you against depression and anxiety, but while this understanding has had a substantial and enduring impact on my overall sense of wellbeing and resilience, it has not put an end to suffering. What’s more, my suffering is keenest when I think I shouldn’t be experiencing it and when I interpret it as indicative of my lack of spiritual fitness. There’s truth and bullshit there, and when the ego is in charge, it’s all BS all the time.

Given what I’ve said so far it should come as no surprise that the conversation about getting the Three Principles into the mainstream in the wake of Williams’s suicide brings me smack up against my own projections. As I sat in tears on Monday afternoon I saw the utter inadequacy of my fantasy that the Three Principles should or could be proof against suffering. (I’m not saying that anyone else subscribes to that fantasy, by the way, I’m owning it for myself.)

A funny thing happened as I sat, feeling utterly defeated, flattened, in some respects betrayed (and again, I’m talking about my own projections folks; I’m not saying the 3Ps or anyone in/around them betrayed me); into that desolate place came compassion. When I stopped desperately trying to forestall suffering–my own or anyone else’s–and I began to just feel what I was feeling, the seeds of compassion began to bloom. Compassion for myself and all suffering beings.

Now compassion had been eluding me, and I can’t overstate how sweet it was to taste even a bit of it. I had been feeling brittle, distant, and impatient with myself and others who were shortsighted enough to suffer in spite of having the simple inside-out nature of experience explained to them.

When I take on mental illness as a category and mental health as an organized system, I project all sorts of craziness into the world. When I then imagine that the Three Principles are a remedy for that craziness, I create a tragicomic mess. I start tilting at windmills. My inner drama queen dons her best armor. And compassion? Not so much.

For me there is a lesson here about Wholeness and how I experience/identify myself as part (or not) of not only the spiritually sanitized Cosmos but also of the messy family of Man. How much of a voice for healing and wholeness can I be if I project craziness and separateness? I don’t see a particular place to stand, way to be, answer, strategy, or position here, just an ongoing question: What kind of world am I making up such that it needs me to fix it?

My evolving two cents. What’s yours?


Posted in Emotional intelligence, Meaning, Mind, Spirit, Sydney Banks, Three Principles | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

How to Make Decisions: Live in the Moment!

What does and doesn’t work about trying to make good decisions? Why is it that sometimes the more we think about making a decision the more confused we become? Discover why we can never find the answers by “reading the crawl.”

Want help discerning your best decisions? Click below for information about individual coaching.


Posted in Confidence, Emotional intelligence, Productivity, Success, Three Principles | 2 Comments

The startling practicality of happiness

Manage for happinessWoohoo! The first in a series of free Happiness Hangouts happens this Friday, August 8, at 9:00am Pacific Daylight Time and YOU are invited.

Why? Because it happens that happiness doesn’t just feel good; it’s startlingly practical.

As the name suggests, Happiness Hangouts are all about happiness and its startling bearing on life and biz. We’ll look at:

  • Why happiness is a default, not a destination.
  • The relationship between happiness and wisdom.
  • How to use happiness as a navigational aid in life and business.

There will be some teaching and some coaching and some who-knows-what-else. Think insight meets pragmatism meets sassiness. (Hmmm. The term “wise sass” just occurred to me. I like that!)

How It Works

Happiness Hangouts will use Google’s Hangouts on Air technology to broadcast a live video feed of yours truly. You can watch the live feed on a page at my Web site or via Google+. If you have a Gmail account, I recommend the Google+ option, because you’ll be able to see and participate in the live chat.

In addition to watching, you can participate in the Hangout by teleconference. You’ll receive all the info about how to watch and/or call in when you sign up. You’ll get replay info as well.

Are you in?

Click the link below to sign up for the free Happiness Hangouts.


I hope you’ll be able to join me!

Posted in Ambition, Authenticity, Community, Confidence, Consciousness, Creativity, Life purpose, Meaning, Mindfulness, Personal, Productivity, Self care, Self-employment, Service, Serving others, Small business, Success, Thought, Three Principles, Uncategorized, Vision, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments