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November 11, 2008 8:35 AM

Are You Overlooking This? How your weaknesses make you a one-of-a-kind perfect fit for your just-right clients.


Imperfection, originally uploaded by GardenerGal.

Some years ago our good friends Brian and Leslie were house-hunting on Bainbridge Island.

In spite of having told the real estate grabber (got that from The Charming Prince) that they wanted something with character, that they preferred funky over precious, they spent an exhausting day looking at builder burgers and assorted McMansions. (TCP is responsible for builer burgers, too.)

B&L were ready to give up, when the frustrated and confused saleswoman said, "I might as well show you one more. It's a long shot, but we're in the neighborhood."

That last house sat on the beach at the foot of a great, rickety wooden staircase. It was old. It was simple. And it had character oozing out of every pore. B&L made an offer on the spot.

Are You Hiding Your Most Important Asset?

That beach house was perfect for B&L, not because of its perfection in the eyes of the real estate pros, but because its imperfections suited them to a tee. The same thing is true in your business. And I do mean that for you, specifically. I've never had a client who wasn't hiding a critical asset because they feared it was a weakness.

Jacqueline and Joseph Freeman were embarrassed about the size of their school until Jacqueline got to page 22 of The Way of the Accidental Entrepreneur.

Here's what she wrote me about how their weakness became an asset in a matter of moments:

So I'm partway through reading the book, up to page 22 (the story  of Maggie and Anne), and when I got to the question about what I'm  hiding, I had to stop.

I've been working with since August on internet marketing and all of a sudden I realized I'd been tippytoeing around the fact that our school is SMALL.

I keep trying to run against the pack of big schools and somehow online make us seem like a bigGER school when really my hook here is that we are so small that every single student is a real person and gets plenty of individual attention.

Who wouldn't want THAT?

How to Uncover Your Hidden Asset

You may be thinking that your situation is different. But is it really?

Try this experiment. Complete the following sentence:

"I'd rather my clients not know that..."

I'm virtually certain that what you write is an asset in disguise.

Is Everything Embarrassing an Asset?

Does this mean that all you have to do to get lots of business is to trot out your most embarrassing characteristics?

No. No. No.

Your alleged weakness has to be relevant to your just-right clients. And to learn if and how it is, you'd be wise to talk to people, the kind of people you'd like to work with.

You don't need to take out an ad in The New York Times. Just meet over coffee and ask for feedback about what parts of your life experience and business are attractive.

That can be scary. I remember sitting down with a learned friend (the Ph.D. and multi-lingual kind) and talking about my lack of a college degree. I wanted his advice about whether or not to go back to school.

At the time I didn't envision this man as a client, though, if I'd though about it, I would have recognized him as the kind of person I wanted to work with. And as it happens, he's hired me more than once.

But I digress.

My friend looked at me and said, "Why on earth would you go back to school?"

"For legitimacy. For credibility," I said.

And he rolled his eyes.

I had two conversations like that before deciding that, while learning was at the top of my priority list, finishing college was not.

Simply put, my just-right clients value intelligence, but they've had enough of the academic, theoretical, refined sort. They want to hear how it works at street level.

And believe me, that's what I know about.

Enough About Me. Let's Talk About You

Perhaps you are convinced that your weaknesses may be the key to your unique appeal. But the question remains: How do you talk to folks about weaknesses without appearing needy, self-pitying, or like a failure?

The secret to that is to make the conversation about the other person. The topic is not, "What's wrong with me and can you possibly stand it?" The topic is, "What's important to you? And how can I serve that?"

Jacqueline has ample evidence that their students thrive because of their smallness. Smallness allows people to live and work in close proximity, to participate in the day-to-day lives of the horses they are learning to heal, and to see up close and personal one kind of business that is possible.

From that foundation, she can easily ask students, "What about the small size of this program really works for you?

Similarly, I can ask you, "What about my non-traditional --one might even say checkered--path to coaching really works for you?"

(Hey! That's a good question. I'd love to hear your answers here.

The Bonus Room

I find it hard to believe, but these days houses come with "bonus rooms." What's up with that?

Anyway, it's as good a segue as any to another important moral of the tale of B&L. That is, if you don't listen to your clients you are going to be frustrated and confused a lot of the time.

B&L are vivacious, articulate, fun people. Anyone who actually listened to what they wanted would have taken them to the beach house first, not last. And instead of regaling their guests with the story of a near-miss, they'd be singing the praises of a saleswoman who paid attention.

Yes. It really is that easy.

Acknowledgements

Thank you to Jacqueline for permission to quote her letter. Jacqueline Freeman, Training Director
The Equine Natural Movement School
Bodywork that honors & respects the horse's structure & spirit www.EquineNaturalMovement.com

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Comments

Thanks for this post. It got me thinking about being compellingly authentic and how that works in a business sense. It's time to own the power that comes from being a non-traditional, but avid learner (like you) and the fact that I don't always do things the way the gurus say I should. I like having direct contact with my clients, even if I should have a "middle man" to speed things along. I have the help for the 'boring bits' but I never want to lose the direct connection to the people whom I serve. No matter what.

Posted by: Peggie at November 12, 2008 7:20 AM

Hear, hear, Peggie.

In the past year I've been blessed with an office angel, my sister, Maggie, who cares so much for the work we do and for our customers and clients that I can - finally - relax a bit about the direct connection.

Thanks to Maggie's impeccable and caring customer service, I can focus on keeping that connection open in my heart, through my writing, and through my teaching and coaching.

I share that because I want folks to know that it is possible to grow your business and to get help without letting your clients and customers down. And it may take time and experimentation. (Only took me 12 years!)

Posted by: Molly Gordon at November 12, 2008 7:49 AM

This is brilliant- thank you for shining a light on what other people want to hide.

I've found what you've said to be 100% true. Being who you are, in all of your human-ness, is what allows potential clients to connect with you.

And for all the fancy Ph.D ness I could parade around- what makes people really want to work with me- is their ability to identify with my own personal story of overcoming obstacles to creating real love.

If I wasn't willing to be that person, show that "weakness", they would never get to the point of saying, "Yes! She gets it. She knows what it's like. AND she's gotten past that- so she must be able to help me!"

It never ceases to amaze me that one of the most common compliments I hear is: "Thank you for being so real."

Real is inspiring. Hiding yourself, not so much!

And I thank all of my early clients for teaching me that right from the beginning!

Posted by: Dr. Jenn at December 17, 2008 9:48 PM

This is fascinating - and I've never thought about things I view as flaws being positives for potential clients. I think I'll go back through my client list and testimonials and think about things from that perspective. Thanks, Molly!

Posted by: Erin Ferree at February 18, 2010 1:18 PM

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