Accidental Entrepreneur's Guide to Self-Employment Success

Does the Buddha want you to make a profit?

2010-09-06T17:44:43Z

I don't care about making you a millionaire. I'm not interested into turning you into a marketing machine. And actually, I don't know if the Buddha wants you to make a profit or not.

But I want you to. And I think the Buddha would approve.

Here are three reasons why I think you really ought to make a profit.

Profit means security so that you can grow, thrive, and make a contribution.
Planning for and earning a profit is a creative act deserving your attention and commitment.
Aversion to seeking profit is a spiritual cop-out. Acceptance of the challenge of making a profit can be a spiritual path.

Profit means security
Accounting definitions aside, when you work for yourself, profit is what's left over after you pay the bills. It's what lets you take a vacation, sign up for a course, and put some money away for retirement. It's what lets you take a week off to build a house with Habitat for Humanity.

The amount of profit that's right for you is a personal matter. With some honest addition and subtraction, plus a little reflection, you can arrive at a reasonable number.

CAUTION: I've seen people back away from their reasonable number because they don't know if they can earn it. Please don't.

Security is an inside job, and...
I'm perfectly aware that security is an inside job. No amount of money can make anyone truly secure. And there's no guarantee that what you earn today is going to be there tomorrow.

You could say the same thing about food. If you've ever treated disappointment with chocolate, you know that no amount of food can fill the hole in a hungry heart. And no amount of food today will guarantee that you won't go hungry tomorrow.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't buy enough food for the week ahead.

Profit-making is a creative act
I love this one. When you detach from whatever dramas you have around money, planning for and earning a profit is like any other creative project. It takes vision, imagination, insight into your own process, and discipline.

Creating a profit can be immensely satisfying in its own right. Combine that with the satisfaction of caring for yourself and others and you have a thing of beauty.

Profit-making is a spiritual path
I've saved the best for last. The world's wisdom traditions tell us that there are two causes of suffering: attachment to pleasure and aversion to pain. This makes choosing to earn a profit a perfect spiritual storm.

But here's the deal. You're in that perfect storm whether you choose to make a profit or not. Aversion to profit causes just as much suffering as attachment. And to pretend that you're averse to profit out of high-mindedness is, in my view, a spiritual cop-out.

I'm not suggesting that you become attached to profit. And I don't pretend that there's no risk of attachment. In my experience, deciding to make a profit (or to make any amount of money) invariably triggers some degree of grasping, fear, and envy.

But I also believe that facing grasping, fear, and envy IS the spiritual path. Avoiding them is not.

Your decision to earn a profit matters
It may be that you've been wanting to earn a profit for quite some time. And perhaps you've worked on it.

But what I notice is that most Accidental Entrepreneurs don't really start earning a profit until they go beyond a vague wanting and take it on as a creative and spiritual challenge. Until then, profit is an abstract thing, and it's easy to go after it in a haphazard way.

I invite you to do the simple arithmetic and find out what your right number is. Make earning that one of your chief projects for the next year. Then use the tools available to you to create that result.

I think you might surprise yourself.

PS: If you're wanting some help with creating a profit, take a look at the Self Employment Telesummit. It's designed to prevent information overload with built-in coaching so you can digest what you learn and apply it on the spot.

It starts on September 16, and there are a limited number of seats available. Check it out at: www.selfemploymenttelesummit.com.

Photo by Kazunori Matsuo via Flickr
Under a Creative Commons License

Make More Happen by Letting More In

2010-09-02T17:48:00Z

The following is a guest post from my friend and colleague, Michele Lisenbury Christensen. She wrote it during one of the few warm spells in Seattle this summer, thus the reference to hot weather.

Lately, here in Seattle, the sun has been pouring out its sizzling blessings upon us, warming the earth and stirring activity in plants and people alike. And Monday night was the full moon. Having that zingy sundrenched buzz balanced out by the sweet softness of the moon’s blue glow last night reminded me how much we crave refreshment to align us amid our busy-ness.

We’re so hungry for softness, for shelter, for comfort. But in business, we don’t want to be. We’re in a constant battle against having that hunger. We yearn to be reassured, consoled, nourished. Loved unconditionally.

How very unprofessional! We think, “If I had it together I wouldn’t need all those things.” Our hunger is the messy, sloppy part of us that we keep trying to amputate, to very little success, so that we can get on with our business.

But we really do need those things. The needs come from the same place from which we provide for other people. They’re like the fuel gauge telling you your car needs more gas so it can keep driving.

In our businesses – or any creative endeavors - it’s tempting to think our solar side, our generativity, is the source of all that’s good. Cultural leanings and personal habits can predispose us to squelch any yearning for comfort or reassurance. We may only invite that moonbeam quality of nourishment and receptivity into our day as a last resort, only when we’re too exhausted to do otherwise!

For example, do you:

Brush off disappointment or frustration when an offer doesn’t get the response you’d hoped or a sale falls through at the last minute?

Work through lunch or realize at some point you’ve needed the bathroom for hours?

Tolerate loneliness, stuckness, overwhelm, or despair without reaching out for help or encouragement?

Add in one more client, another hour at the computer, or three more phone calls and let it crowd out your self-care or relaxation time?

These are the ways we fight our hunger to receive. We fear we’ll become this black hole of need. If you open that door, it’ll be like a horror movie where the gates of hell have been opened and all that is holy is sucked away.

But your need to receive and your need to drive are two sides of the same coin. In the 12 Elements of Power I teach my clients, our power is delineated into six pairs of Elements. Driving is an Element of Power, and its counterpart is Receiving.

Our capacity for either is only as robust as our willingness to activate its mate. Wanna drive all-out? Be prepared to open up, receive, request, and feel. Otherwise, you’ll shut down the whole carnival. On the other hand if you want to Receive, to allow life to spill her blessings across your lap, the key to your desire is to be willing to drive, baby, drive in all the ways that are yours to do.

Driving, receiving, driving, receiving. It’s a graceful two-step we can dance all career long. When both Elements are active, our energy ebbs and flows in a sustainable way. Or, as so many of us do, we can turn the ballet into a herky-jerky careening mess:

Drive, overdrive, crash. Recover, lick wounds, overdrive some more. Crash again. Oh, and during the recovery: we might say we’re receiving, but it just ain’t so. We’re not so much using our Receiving power as we are sitting out our probation from using our Driving, having fried ourselves from overuse. In truth, all that masculine, generative action is sourced by the feminine side, just as our hands do work using the oxygen and energy pumped to them by the heart.

We’re nourished by our roots. Our driving side is like the branches of the tree. Receiving is like the roots of the tree, where the nourishment comes in, where the water is drunk and the minerals turn into what becomes the tree: it all takes place underground. That underground metabolism of nourishment is the feminine. That’s the receptivity. We can only generate new “leaves” in our businesses to the extent that we’re willing to receive through our roots.

Fall into your feminine. If my two year old son Cooper falls down, like he did as we were playing on the lawn last night, he lets me take him into my arms. He falls into me, crying, and lets me rock him back and forth, his body limp against mine, absorbing the pats and caresses and murmurs I shower upon him. His wide-open receiving lets him soak up that good mama juju, and soon he’s back on his merry way.

As the skies remind us, we need that solar and lunar rhythm of driving and receiving. The sun is invigorating. The moon is soothing.

There’s a way that the sun, the father archetype, the masculine face of God, calls you forward. You live up to IT. You are asked to drive to perform and be strong. It calls you to earn and achieve. It’s heating.

The moon, this mother archetype is less known in our culture. It’s the feminine face of the Divine. It’s liquid, not electric. The feminine is something that’s plentiful and replenishing for you. It’s Source, like a well you can drink from. It’s unconditional. It’s here for you.

The feminine is what you can fall back into. This is the side of the divine and of life and of your relationship with your own self that is not necessarily pushing you forward, but helping you replenish, feed your hunger, soften, and collect your strength.

As an entrepreneur, you’ll be well-served to open to your yearning for your mama – that sweet giving energy that’s always there for you. If you drink deep of the moon’s light when you’re thirsty, then when the sun rises again, you’ll be ready to rock & roll!

You can hop over to Michele's blog to read four steps to opening to the feminine for your nourishment.

When biz gets scary: How to play a bigger game without getting too big for your britches

2010-09-01T17:02:19Z

Last week a group of coaches challenged me to play a bigger game. To declare a larger vision for my business, acknowledge long term goals, and live up to my ability to plan for and achieve them.

I'm all over that, and yet...

Playing a bigger game sounds suspiciously like self-aggrandizement. Ego inflation. Playing Boss of the Universe. Not a good idea.

Perhaps you struggle with the same dilemma. You feel called to make a bigger difference in the world (and to show up bigger), but you can't see yourself actually doing it.

If you, too, are a reluctant visionary, this article is for you.

The first problem: who the heck are you to do this thing?
As soon as you declare a bigger game, you're agreeing to make a difference in the world. And who are you to do that?

In one sense, nobody. You're just a person like every other person, no more or less important.

But declaring a bigger game isn't about being important. It's about choosing to make a difference and doing what you can to bring it about. And this is where you are a very special somebody, because no one can make quite the difference you can make.

You have to be right-sized to accept that you're both a nobody and a somebody. Fortunately, you don't have to this perfectly.

The second problem: what's your game?
Your bigger game may not be immediately apparent. You will probably have to dig a bit to get at it. For one thing, all the fuss these days about being a rockstar is distracting. It can make it seem like bigger games are about getting more attention.

Getting more attention might be part of it, but it's not the key. The key to discerning your bigger game is to tune into your vocation.

Frederick Buechner defines vocation as the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. This makes a solid foundation for deciding what game you are called to play.

If the game you envision requires you to do things you aren't happy doing, it's the wrong game. It's also the wrong game if it means you'll be happy but your game doesn't serve the world.

Happiness is not the same as pleasure
A happy game is not always a pleasurable game. Pleasure is a temporary feeling associated with gratification of desire. It's a lovely thing, but it's not the same as happiness.

Happiness has a more enduring character. It can be present in the midst of sadness or frustration. It comes from developing yourself and making your optimal contribution to the world.

The right bigger game for you will be pleasurable some of the time and fundamentally happy most of the time. (And you might have to do some digging to get at the happy part during challenging times.)

Service does not require depletion
You can't meet the world's deep hunger for long if you deplete yourself in the process. The right game will allow you to renew both your commitment and your energy and resources on a regular basis. The world does not benefit when you run yourself into the ground.

For Accidental Entrepreneurs this means planning so that you earn an income adequate not only for your basic needs but for a margin of comfort. Without that, you won't have the security to make your optimal contribution.

The third problem: arguing with the reality
In case you haven't noticed, arguing with reality is painful. As Byron Katie says, you lose, but only 100% of the time. So how do you do the bigger game thing without getting manhandled by reality?

The simple answer is acceptance.

To play a bigger game you need to accept two things: current reality and future possibilities. When you accept current reality, you find peace. (This doesn't mean you approve of reality, just that you're not arguing with it.)

When you accept future possibilities, you find peaceful ambition, the marriage of humility and desire. That's a wonderful place to come from and a good touchstone for whether or not you're in the game.

The fourth problem: showing up
Showing up, being an advocate for your bigger game is where the rubber meets the road. It means selling yourself and the world on your vision.

Not the whole world, mind you. Just the people you are here to serve, what I call your just-right clients.

To effect real change in the world, you need to persuade people of the merits of your vision. That's partly about earning enough to do your work, but it's also about taking a stand for what you believe in and spreading the word. Both involve selling.

It's an inside and an outside job
Knowing your game and consenting to play it is an inside job that will challenge you spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. It will also reveal exactly what you need to do to grow as a human being.

But playing your game is also an outside job. There's no game until you take action in the world. It's not enough to do good work. You need to make your good work known.

A word about mistakes
When you consent to play bigger you're going to make mistakes. Spiritual mistakes of pride, grasping, and envy. Material mistakes of investing time and energy in things that don't work. And relationship mistakes that result in misunderstanding and hurt feelings.

All of these mistakes are part of the game. No one is exempt. What is important is to keep returning to the principles of play. Practice being right-sized. Look for the intersection of gladness and hunger. Listen for guidance and let go of results.

And most of all, show up. Keep taking risks. The world needs you.

Practical help for your bigger game
I hope this post pushed a few buttons and awakened a peaceful ambition in you. Of course, it may not feel so peaceful if you don't know how you're going to make your game bigger.

There's help for that. In a couple of weeks 10 of the best practitioners I know come together in The Self Employment Telesummit. It's a different kind of event in that it includes daily coaching to help you apply what you learn to your bigger game.

If you're wanting to play bigger, I truly hope you'll consider the telesummit. Find out more about it at www.selfemploymenttelesummit.com.

PS: The early bird deadline is September 2. Just saying.

Photo by cobalt123 via Flickr
Under a Creative Commons License

Actually, you don't reap what you sow: The truth about thriving self employment

2010-08-23T21:52:59Z

It's not true that you reap what you sow. You reap what you sow and pay attention to.

Take my garden.

I'm an impulsive sort, so my evolution as a gardener began with somewhat slapdash, if enthusiastic, planting. I'd plant as soon as I got around to it in the Spring, usually a few weeks before or after the optimal time. And I pretty much trusted to time and nature for the rest.

My results were spotty, and that was okay with me. After all, I wasn't relying on my garden for survival.

Nonetheless, something in me wanted to create a more fruitful garden. So I became a better educated and more attentive gardener. The more attention I paid to the garden, the better it did, even when the weather was indifferent to my plans.

And it's the same with self employment.

Working for yourself is like growing vegetables
When you work for yourself, your results pretty much match the amount of informed attention you give to your business. While you can't control the economy, you can control how you position yourself in that economy. While you can't control people's choices, you can control how well you appeal to their concerns.

And you can absolutely control how well educated you are about succeeding and how attentive you are to what you are creating.

Education plus attention = results
I see a lot of people spending a lot of money on books, programs, and coaching to build their businesses and not getting very impressive results. I think there are two reasons for this.

First of all, educating yourself takes more than collecting information. You have to convert that information to knowledge by learning HOW to apply it. It's not enough to buy seeds, you need to know how to plant them.

Secondly, knowledge needs to be acted on over time. You need to nurture seedlings until they are mature if you want a harvest. It takes regular attention and action for knowledge to produce results.

And too often I see people invest in information (seeds) without getting the knowledge and systematic guidance it takes to turn those seeds into a harvest.

It makes me sad.

What kind of garden will you have?
The results you get from self employment are directly connected to the actions you take over time. And these actions are learnable, replicable, and within your grasp.

You don't need to sacrifice your values or get a personality transplant to become a better gardener. You do need to choose what kind of garden you're going to grow, and then do what it takes to grow it.

You may have a hobby business, where you're not relying on your income to meet your family's needs. That's your right. But even so, I propose that there is something beautiful about a well-tended business, just as there is something beautiful about a well-tended garden. Something artful and generous.

So, if you haven't yet made a conscious commitment to thriving, I invite you to do it now. I think you'll be amazed within a very short time at what happens when you apply yourself consistently to growing your business. And I believe the world will be a better place for it.

A few gardening tips
This has been one of the best years ever in my business, and it's because I have become a more systematic gardener. Surprisingly, being more systematic has made me more creative and energetic. Who knew?

Here are my best business gardening tips.

Decide what you want to harvest. If it's not about the money, get very clear what it is about. When you know what kind of harvest you want, you're going to be a lot more intentional about creating it.

Get real about what you need to reap that harvest. This is where money comes in. You're going to need a certain amount to have the security you need to do your best work. Figure out how much that is and decide to go for it.

Decide what to plant. Are you going to offer hourly services? A package? Products? Classes? Play with various possibilities, comparing them to what you want to create and what you need to earn. Choose the ones you think will work best.

Tend to your crops. This means figuring out what has to happen, when, and how often so that the choices you've made are successful. You don't have to get this perfect! Make your best assessment of what needs to happen, do it, then learn from the results you get.

Harvest what you've grown. As you succeed, take the time to celebrate what you've accomplished. Acknowledge your progress. Notice what worked and enjoy what you've created.

You can be a more successful gardener. The question is, are you willing to be?

The path to garden mastery
If you've been working for yourself for a while, you've learned a few things about tending your garden. But perhaps there's a gap between where you are now and what you truly want to create. The Self Employment Telesummit is about closing that gap.

It's a virtual conference for people who want to get over the hump from getting by to shining profitability. It's designed to turn the information you've been gathering into the knowledge and wisdom you need to take focused, productive action and get measurable results.

If you're wanting something more out of self-employment, I invite you to check it out at www.selfemploymenttelesummit.com. If what you read resonates, I hope you will sign up. The world will be a better place for you having a more beautiful garden.

Photo by Downing Street via Flickr
Under a Creative Commons License

Why "The Secret" Hasn't Made You a Millionaire

2010-08-14T00:57:13Z

This article goes against much of what passes for spiritual teaching these days. It says that succeeding (even modestly) is hard work. It also says you can do it.

If self-employment isn't turning out the way you want, this could be the most important thing you read this year.

It begins with farming.

Reading the "Farmers' Almanac" won't make you a farmer
You wouldn't expect to transform yourself from a suburban gardener to a full-fledged farmer by reading the "Farmers' Almanac." For one thing, it's a hodgepodge of old wive's tales, raw data, and casual anecdote. Not the kind of guide you need for a complex endeavor.

And then there's the gap between reading it and doing it. Even if the instructions were great and you followed them perfectly, life would happen. Weather would romp across your fields. Insects would treat your crops like a fast food joint. Weeds would do their weedy thing.

It's the same with anything you do, including earning a living.

"The Secret" won't make you successful
Like the "Farmers' Almanac," "The Secret" is a hodgepodge of truth, partial truth, and myth. As such, it's an incomplete map of the territory between where you are and where you want to go.

"The Secret" suggests that the means for getting from where you are to where you want to go is invocation of spiritual laws.

Hogwash. Not that there aren't spiritual laws (that's the part that's true). But the human ego doesn't get to manipulate spiritual law for its own purposes. And, trust me, when you're wanting to attract something into your life, however exalted, your ego is involved.

The ego is not a bad thing
The ego is the engine of choice and action. It decides what we want and gets us into all sorts of messes along the way to getting it. And because we are both spiritual and material beings, we wrestle with the ego. We know that there is more to life than accruing wealth or power.

But here's the deal. Without the ego, there's no wrestling match. And the wrestling match is what life is all about. It's the vehicle for any transformation worthy of the name. Which, by the way, is why I claim that self-employment is a rigorous spiritual path.

So success, both material and spiritual, isn't about bypassing your ego (or pretending to) by invoking the Law of Attraction. It's about engaging your ego in the creation of your life and work.

It starts by deciding what you want to create
Here's one place where "The Secret" and I agree. Creation begins with deciding what you will create. And why on earth would you compromise on this piece? Choose something that makes your heart sing, and be sure to include the material resources you'll need to play the accompaniment.

You might ask if it isn't arrogant to make an audacious choice. And yes, it would be, if you believed you could command your choice into being. But, in fact, you are only the junior partner in the act of creation. And junior partners get to do the scut work. Which brings us to the next step.

Decide how you're going to create
What are you going to do to get results? No passive "manifesting" here. You're going to need something more concrete here than positive thinking. As the junior partner in the business of creating, you're responsible for making what you want take form in the physical world. That's why you have a body. And a brain. And emotions that, well, that motivate you.

You know, or can find out, what you have to do to build what you want, so no excuses.

Do the thing
Start building. Start where you can with what you have. Keep track of what you do so you can learn what works and what doesn't.

And, by the way, keep doing the thing. It's been said that magic is the marriage of intention and action. I would add iteration. Very few things work the way you expect the first time out. The beauty is that you get to keep trying.

A word about energy and inspiration
Creating takes time and effort. Sometimes you even have to start over. That means you will need ongoing sources of energy and inspiration.

But sometimes they won't be there.

In real life, vision fades. Confidence flags. Energy drops. But that doesn't have to mean the end of creating. When you know that there will be bumps and slumps, you won't take them so personally. You can plan for them, which won't take away the ickiness, but will help you stay with it until things are looking up.

You can do this
I don't know if you can be a millionaire. I rather doubt that you want to be. But I know for certain that you can create more of what you want, more reliably, than you probably are now. And the key to doing that is to get into action.

I do believe that all the Universe is here to support you. The only question is whether you are bold enough to do your part.

Photo by Scott Butner via Flickr
Under a Creative Commons License

Addendum
A little bird told me I really should tell you about The Self Employment Telesummit. It's not likely to make you a millionaire, either. And it is likely to help you get over the hump from getting by to shining profitability. Check it out here.

The dangers of being jaded

2010-08-14T00:49:09Z

So, I'm dead set against magical thinking. But there's also danger in being jaded. Here's a quick take on the importance of believing in good things.

When you hit a wall, hang a left

2010-08-06T20:56:10Z

Sometimes, in spite of your best intentions to take focused action, you run into a wall. When that happens, hang a left.

Creating the good life: Why it's your moral responsibility to choose and pursue prosperity

2010-08-06T20:46:42Z

May I ask you a personal question?

Are you earning enough to be secure and comfortable, to live without worry about how you'll cope with the inevitable surprises that life throws your way?

Many of the Accidental Entrepreneurs I work with are not. They're getting by. Paying the bills (most of the time). But they don't have enough for extras like travel or study, nor do they have savings to draw on when the unexpected happens.

They're under-earning, and if you're among them I want to shake you up. (Yes, again.)

Contribution is job one
Let's get one thing clear first. I believe with Aristotle (how's that for exalted company?) that living well means living up to your potential so as to make the greatest possible contribution to your world. And he would not define potential in terms of accruing wealth, but in terms of acquiring wisdom.

In the good life, the pursuit of personal wealth plays only a supporting role. It's purpose is to provide us with:

"...enough to free us from basic concerns about putting bread on our tables, clothes on our backs, and roofs over our heads. Further, we need enough to be comfortable and the have adequate savings, for without a sense of security, we won't have the peace of mind needed to concentrate on higher pursuits."
(From Creating the Good Life, Applying Aristotle's. Wisdom to Find Meaning and Happiness, by James O'Toole.)

You may say that our culture is preoccupied with acquiring and spending wealth. You could even say it's a disease of our times.

But if you're reading this, that's not your problem. Your values and actions are squarely seated in the service of higher pursuits. Meaning. Family. Service. Beauty.

For you, the moral challenge may be earning enough to concentrate on those higher pursuits.

It's your job to gather resources in service of your values
If you are under-earning out of reaction against our consumer-driven society, you've cut the tie between the economic means to live well and your ultimate values. That erodes your motivation to tend to business. It legitimizes any fears you might have about putting yourself out there, turning them into virtuous avoidance of crass commercialism. It makes resistance to marketing and sales a badge of honor.

But when you understand what it takes to live up to the ends you seek, tending to business becomes part of your mission. Earning an ample income is revealed to be the honorable means toward an estimable end.

I claim it's a moral responsibility.

How to make the connection at a gut level
Even when you get the connection between right-earning and contribution, it can be hard to act on it from day to day. It takes commitment and practice to draw motivation and momentum for business from your higher pursuits.

Here's one way to do that.

First, ask what you care about. What makes the work you do imperative? My favorite way to get at this is to ask, "What makes me crazy?" (For me, the answer is seeing the epidemic of under-earning among heart-based professionals.)

Next, ask yourself, "What am I going to do about it?" The answer probably looks a lot like what you are already doing--or want to do--in the world.

Then ask, "What resources, both material and spiritual, do I need to do this generously and well?"

Finally, ask, "What do I need to do in order to obtain those resources?"

Getting over The Hump
When you work for yourself, it can take a couple of years to achieve the right level of prosperity. That's natural. But if you've been at it for a while and you are still struggling, it's time to get over The Hump.

That brings me to this year's Self Employment Telesummit. The theme is "Over the Hump: Going from Getting By to Shining Prosperity." (Shining, if you recall, was the theme of last week's article, which you can read HERE.)

There's a free preview of the telesummit on Thursday, August 19. My guest will be Dave Navarro, and we'll be talking about how to charge premium prices for your work. I hope you'll join us. Sign up at selfemploymenttelesummit.com.

While you're there, take a look at this year's offer. Early registration is over on September 2. That may seem like a long way off, but August has a way of flying by. If you're needing help to get over The Hump, you may want to sign up now.

As my new best friend Aristotle says, "The end is not knowing, but action."

Image: The School of Athens
Public domain via Wikipedia

Shining: How to believe in your own success

2010-08-02T23:07:37Z

Photo credit: Dad :)

Quite a few years back I had one of those quasi-mystical experiences that shakes you up and refocuses your life. I don't remember where I was or what I was doing, yet the moment of realization is as clear now as it was then.

It's a bit scary to share this, but here goes. I realized that I wanted to be a star.

Not a rock star or movie star, but a star in the sky. I wanted to shine.

A few years later I came across a photo I've shared here before. It's of five-year-old me on the beach at Santa Monica. For me, it captures the essence of shining. I keep it on my desk to remind me of who I am and what I'm here to do.

This is about you
So far it probably sounds like this is about me, but it's not. It's about you and who you really are. And it's about you succeeding as a human being and a person who's self-employed.

Because the secret to success isn't what you do. It's living what lights you up. When you are alight with with enthusiasm, self-trust, and joy, it is easy to see and take the steps you need to take to succeed.

Of course, shining isn't always easy
Even if you believe that, at bottom, everything is perfect, you know that shining isn't always easy. Weeks and months can go by when you forget that you are a star. And somehow I have to think that's okay.

It's okay because the human journey is about teaching each other to shine. Every time you forget and remember who you are, you learn a bit more about embodying the light. And what you learn infuses your work, your relationships, and your choices with meaning. It makes your work unique, and it makes you an ever brighter star.

Earth to Molly
My work is not just to talk pretty. It's to be a translator. To learn how to succeed at business and re-imagine it in authentic and creative ways. If I don't translate shining in a practical way, something you can take action on, I haven't done my job.

So here's what I want you to do
This week I want you to put yourself out in the world in a bolder, brighter way. That doesn't mean being noisier. It means doing one of those things you know you ought to be doing to market or sell--and doing it as if you are a being of light.

Here's what that means.

Let's say you've been putting off starting a blog. Go to Blogger.com or Wordpress.com and open a free account. Go with the easiest set up you can find.

Then ask yourself what you know and how you know it. If you are a bodyworker, deeply connect with what you know about your work. Reflect on how you know this; not just what you learned in training, but what you've learned from experience.

If you're a graphic designer, think about something that drives you crazy about do-it-yourself design. Something that you know could be remedied with the guidance of a professional. Then give that guidance.

Whoever you are and whatever your field, imagine sharing your knowledge generously. Then write it down.

That's practice in shining.

It's not about blogging
You can practice shining when you tell people what you do. (Start by doing this in your imagination, and it will get much easier to do it in person.)

You can practice shining in your emails. (When you answer an email, try starting with a thank you.)

Wherever you've been struggling to follow through with self-promotion, that's where you can practice shining.

Don't wait until you know how
All you need to practice shining is the merest inkling of what I'm talking about. You know times when you have simply shone. You know what that feels like in your body and looks like on your face (at least from the inside).

Practice that. Bring that to the steps and tools of marketing and sales. And let me know how it's going here, in the comments.

Why is it so hard to trust yourself?

2010-07-30T21:06:47Z

Out on a limb: Why you should pray for your clients

2010-07-25T21:44:56Z

Okay, I'm going a bit out on a limb today. And I hope you will stick with me whatever your spiritual leanings, because this article can prevent burnout, improve client results, and increase your confidence and motivation. And, as you'll see, it isn't nearly as woo-woo as you might think.

First, let me say that having clients is not all roses. You work hard to attract and serve them, and then you are confronted with the reality of working with them from day to day. And that brings certain challenges that you won't see talked about in most self-employment circles.

Challenges like becoming so invested in them that you start leaking energy. Feeling entangled. Even becoming co-dependent. Eventually, you can burn-out and feel disconnected.

Then there is the challenge of helping clients get the results they came to you for. How can you know your work is good enough? How can you help them be better partners in the work? (Because you can't do it by yourself, you know.)

And finally, how do you maintain your motivation and confidence through the ups and downs of everyday life?

I'm here to tell you that prayer and meditation can help you meet every one of these challenges.

This is a no woo-woo zone
I've had my share of non-ordinary experiences. I rely on alternate ways of knowing, like intuition, sensing into the environment, and synchronicity. And I pray for all my clients. But I'm impatient when woo-woo is presented without a foundation in science.

And there is scientific evidence for the effectiveness of both meditation and prayer.

Research has shown that meditation causes beneficial changes in your brain and body. It can entrain your brain and heart, bringing peace, heightened awareness, and the ability to think more clearly when under pressure. It lowers blood pressure and improves respiration. It reduces cortisol levels. (Cortisol is a chemical released by your body under stress. High levels are physically and emotionally depleting.)

Meditation is a good thing.

Prayer is practical

Larry Dossey has pioneered esearch into the effectiveness of intentional prayer. It appears that prayer operates even over a distance to speed physical healing and ease emotional pain.

There's another practical side to prayer that makes it indispensable to me. When you pray, you are letting go of the idea that you are solely responsible for outcomes. You are loosening the reins of attachment. This allows creative possibilities to enter the mind that had been hyper-focused on a problem.

So prayer, too, is a good thing.

You don't need to be religious to meditate or pray
While both meditation and prayer are keystones of the world's wisdom traditions, you don't have to belong to any particular church or sect to use them. All you have to do is take action, and it is very simple to begin.

Begin meditating by sitting still
You can begin to meditate by simply sitting still and in silence for 5 minutes. Set a timer. Your thoughts are likely to be all over the place. That's okay. When you notice you are thinking, turn your attention to your breath. Repeat.

If you practice daily, you'll gradually find that your mind is quieter. Your body more quickly returns to calm when stressed. You'll ride the ups and downs of life more skillfully.

Naturally, there is lots more you can do to deepen your practice. Just Google "meditation, beginner," and you'll find lots of help.

Begin praying by setting an intention
A simple way to pray is to dedicate your day to the well being of a specific person or group of persons. Become quiet. Think of the person or persons (or cause, if you prefer) that you would like to support. Offer up a simple prayer dedicating your work to that. It may take you only moments.

You don't need to know to what or whom you are praying. You don't need to believe in this. Just do it.

Again, there is a lot more you can learn to deepen your prayer practice. What I want for you today is the realization that you can begin with these bare essentials. And beginning makes all the difference.

What's your experience?
Please share your experience with meditation and prayer in the comments!

Photo credit: wadem via Flickr
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How to stop Impostor Syndrome in its tracks: 7 strategies for reclaiming confidence and motivation

2010-07-12T13:36:32Z

It happens to everybody, including the most experienced and successful people. One minute you're a player, and the next you're an impostor. A pretend expert. An embarrassing excuse for a professional.

It's called Impostor Syndrome, and it can throw you and your business for a loop. And as long as you are in the impostor story, your work does suffer. You do attract fewer clients. And you may put off getting back to the people that ask about your work because you're pretty sure you have nothing legitimate to offer.

Impostor Syndrome persists until or unless it's interrupted, often by external circumstances. You get a rave review from a client. An unexpected check arrives in the mail. The thing is, you can wait a long time for the right thing to happen. This article will show you how to interrupt Impostor Syndrome without relying on outside events.

The real roots of Impostor Syndrome
Impostor Syndrome comes from a few predictable sources: Comparing yourself with others. Obsessing about what you don't know or haven't done. Perfectionism. And freaking out when your energy takes a dip.

But the real roots of Impostor Syndrome are deeper. Understanding them shifts the entire problem and opens the way to healing.

So let's look at those real roots.

Comparison is a social activity
While it can be damaging to your confidence, comparing yourself with others isn't just a neurotic pattern. It's actually a natural and useful part of claiming your just-right place so your just-right clients can find you.

When you compare yourself to others in your field, you are assessing not just strengths and weaknesses, but also the characteristics that make you unique. You're charting your way in a community of practice. And rightly understood, all of this is essential to marketing and selling your work. (Can you say "niche"?)

What this boils down to: The root of comparison is the natural and beneficial instinct to find your tribe. It's only when comparison is taken out of context that it gives rise to Impostor Syndrome.

You've got a learning problem
I mean that as a joke. Far from a problem, you have a commendable commitment to learning. As a consequence, you are continually presented with evidence that there is something you don't know yet. And the more you learn, the more you see that you don't know.

When your commitment to learning becomes distorted, it shows up as Impostor Syndrome. But the root is not, in itself, toxic.

You're committed to being of service
Perfectionism doesn't come out of nowhere, and it's not just about fear of inadequacy. A concern with doing excellent work is also a concern about being of real service. Yes, when this concern is distorted it leads to perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome. But the root is something honorable, even beautiful.

Why good roots turn bad
If these roots of Impostor Syndrome are so good, why do they lead to something so nasty? The answer has everything to do with energy.

Some days you have oodles of energy. You're lit up from within. Motivated. Focused. Productive. This is *not* when Impostor Syndrome strikes.

Impostor Syndrome strikes when your energy drops. When you lose the creative spark. Thinking gets fuzzy. Physically, you feel dull, disoriented. That's when the otherwise beneficial roots of Impostor Syndrome become distorted.

In other words, when life happens.

Two things to understand about energy
If drops in energy are the problem, managing energy is the solution. And that means understanding two things.

Energy fluctuates, and it's not personal. Everything in nature follows certain rhythms. Energy increases in the morning, decreases at bed time. Energy increases when you are nourished and decreases when you are depleted.
It's not rocket science. But it is complicated by the fact that, as a human being, you place interpretations on these fluctuations. If your energy is low when you think it *should* be high, you may interpret this as inadequacy.

It's not the energy fluctuation itself that causes the problem, it's what you believe it means.

The second thing to understand about energy is that you can work with or against natural rhythms. You don't need to be their victim. If you choose, you can work with your natural rhythms to experience more flow. And Impostor Syndrome doesn't strike when you're in flow.

Voila! Strategies for dissolving Impostor Syndrome
Understanding these things won't, in my experience, prevent Impostor Syndrome. But it will reduce the frequency, severity, and length of the attacks. And understanding these distinctions leads to the following seven strategies for dealing with Impostor Syndrome.

Strategy 1: Keep positive feedback (emails, notes) where you can look at it when your confidence sinks. Use these as evidence that you do have something to offer, even if it doesn't always feel like it. Don't argue with yourself about it; just notice that you don't always feel this way.

Strategy 2: Use The Work of Byron Katie (www.thework.com) to question stressful thoughts about being an impostor. People need you to be better than you are, is that true? Real professionals do x, y, or z. Is that true?

Strategy 3: Reach out for support. Friends and colleagues who know your value can not only reflect it back to you, they can also remind you to use strategies like these. That's one of the biggest benefits of my Master Mind group. (In fact, my friend Mark Silver reminded me of the next strategy just the other day.)

Strategy 4: Name Impostor Syndrome and own it. Nobody's "on" all the time. When you feel like an impostor who has nothing to give, you aren't, in fact, going to be churning out great content or bringing in clients like crazy. Acknowledge this and ask, "What *can* I do from this place?"

Strategy 5: Ask for spiritual support. It's hard to sustain feelings of being an impostor when you are of service. Ask God, the Universe, or the Source of your understanding to use you in a way that serves others. For all you know, your suffering right now may be enhancing your ability to serve.

Strategy 6: Remember it happens, and it's not permanent. However nasty it feels, Impostor Syndrome is temporary. (One of the things that makes it feel so bad is the contrast with those times when we dare think we are hot.) Remind yourself that this, too, will pass. It's not a commentary on your value as a human being.

Strategy 7: Practice full engagement. Make the choices that support sustained, energetic engagement in your work. Get enough rest. Eat foods that nourish you. Schedule breaks.

Above all, remember that Impostor Syndrome happens to everybody. It really doesn't say anything meaningful about who you are and what you can do in the world. And it will go away.

Looking for a way to overcome the inner obstacles to success?
Accidental Entrepreneurs are just as capable of making money as anyone else. What's in the way are two things. First is the lack of technical knowledge about marketing and sales. Second is misconceptions and limiting beliefs that keep you from taking the simple steps required for success.

The second one is the doozy.

The Way of the Accidental Entrepreneur> shows you a simple, step-by-step system for undoing the internal blocks that keep you from external success. It links the inner work to practical outer work so you can make the changes you need to make to show up, serve, and prosper.

image: impostor.jpg
Photo by Franco Folini via Flickr
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Why lowering your standards helps you reach audacious goals

2010-07-09T15:39:30Z

Audacious goals are inspiring. Invigorating. And sometimes hard to wrap your mind around, which can be overwhelming. One of the best ways to manage the overwhelm is to measure your progress a day at a time.

As they say, what gets measured gets done. Measuring progress toward an audacious goal gives you momentum. It helps stave off bright shiny object syndrome. It keeps you focused.

But there's a shadow side to measuring progress, and that is what bestselling author (and my good friend) Jennifer Louden calls the "stifling pit of perfectionism."

When perfectionism strikes, nothing you do seems good enough. Baby steps seem insignificant and giant steps send you right back to overwhelm. Measurement turns into a whip with which you beat yourself into a quivering mass of insufficiency.

It isn't pretty.

Aim high but lower your standards
The poet William Stafford set an audacious goal: To write a poem a day for a year. Robert Bly asked him how he did it. His answer? "I lowered my standards." And that's how to measure progress toward an audacious goal, sans whip.

Lowering your standards doesn't mean compromising your values or doing substandard work. It means kindly and realistically choosing increments of progress that you can do on an ordinary day. Not a day when the planets are in perfect alignment, but a day filled with the usual slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Lowering your standards means naming the tiniest step you can take toward your audacious goal and measuring that. And not just measuring it, but declaring it good enough. In fact, declaring that it's plenty. (A coaching client dubbed this the "good-and-plenty" method.)

Train your brain to recognize good-and-plenty
Some of us have a hard time recognizing good-enough when we see it. Baby steps seem insignificant compared to the size of the audacious goal. We compare ourselves with other people, who always seem to be more accomplished, more productive, more together. It feels like lowering our standards will put us out of the game.

When you don't recognize good-and-plenty, your brain becomes habituated to believing that you aren't being or doing enough. It doesn't matter how much you argue with that crazy-making assessment. When your brain slips into that insufficiency groove, you're stuck.

Unless you train your brain to make a new groove. The "good and plenty" groove. The groove in which tiny steps are clear and sufficient progress to your audacious goal. Which gives you the courage and focus to keep on keeping on.

Six steps to training your brain
In her ebook, The Satisfaction Finder, the divine Ms. Louden lays out six steps to arriving at good-and-plenty standards, or what she calls "conditions of enoughness." Here's an overview.

STEP ONE: Make space. Before you can find good-and-plenty, you need to make room for the craziness. Not embrace it, but give it space. After all it's squeezing its way into your awareness anyway. Giving it space actually reduces the pressure.

STEP TWO: Name your prize. What do you want? To have more consistent income? To finish your ebook? To get your work into a certain gallery or shop?

STEP THREE: Ask yourself, "What's the simplest step I can take towards this desire?" Choose a tiny step that is specific and concrete so that even an outside observer can tell when you've completed it. Post your latest program to Twitter once a day. Work on your ebook for 30 minutes a day. Update your resume.

STEP FOUR: Add a time element. When will you complete your simple step? At lunchtime? Every day for half and hour? By noon tomorrow?

STEP FIVE: Double‐check that you can complete your step in the specified time on an *ordinary* day. As Patti Digh says, “Put down your clever and pick up your ordinary.”

STEP SIX: This is the secret sauce that makes it all work. When you complete the simple step, declare yourself satisfied. You don't have to *feel* satisfied. Just make the declaration. This trains your brain to recognize good-and-plenty.

Toward your audacious goals
I'd love for you to have–and reach–audacious goals. So it's ultra-important to me that you have the tools to get there. I've described one tool here. If it speaks you, check out Jennifer's Satisfaction Finder. It goes into detail on how to train your brain (and your heart) to recognize that you are good enough. That you've got what it takes to reach your audacious goals.

Disclosure: I'm an affiliate for Jen's work and can't recommend it too highly. She nails the inner issues that keep us from being our best selves.

Photo credit: GenBug via flickr
Under a Creative Commons License

How to succeed at self-employment when you aren't a superhero, a rockstar, or a guru

2010-06-28T18:42:44Z

What if Wonder Woman's crown is too small for an ordinary mortal?

What if thinking you should be a superhero or a rockstar or a guru is actually cramping your style, keeping you small?

What if trying to do it all is ruining (harsh word, and it may be true) your biz?

It's worth thinking about.

It all began with a daily ritual (this is important later)
Lately I've been steadfast in a daily ritual: meditation, Focusing (www.focusingresources.org), and prayer. When I Focus, I drop inside and let my body show me what's cooking underneath my regular awareness. It's like a check-in, only more complete.

Today, what showed up was pressure around my brow with the associated image of a too-tight Wonder Woman's crown.

A super hero's crown too tight? That was weird. but I sat with it and here's what I got.

You're actually bigger than a superhero
With all the noise about successful people being rockstars and gurus these days, it's easy to get seduced into believing your need to be some kind of super hero to succeed.

When the truth is you're already bigger than a superhero, a rockstar, or a guru.

Believing that only superheros succeed keeps you small, because it squeezes out all the foibles and quirks and talents that make you the unique gift to the Universe that you are. When you believe you're supposed to have super powers, the powers you do have are crammed into the margins. You're so focused on what you are not, so busy comparing yourself to others, that you lose touch with the brilliance you're designed to manifest.

It doesn't feel like you're bigger than a superhero. It feels like you aren't big enough. Cool enough. Connected enough to succeed at more than a middling level. You never get to experience yourself as gloriously effective and gifted.

Surprise: you don't have to get out of costume
My first thought about Wonder Woman's crown was to yank it off. But I realized that yanking off a super-tight crown would hurt, which seemed like a move in the wrong direction. Somehow, the way to relief and integration had to be different, though it took a few minutes to find it.

So I sat until I sensed that the crown would be looser if the tiny muscles around my face and head softened. I imagined gentling myself, relaxing, and receiving--here's the cool part-- support.

Support is everywhere
Mmmmm... Sweet support. Not distraction or hiding to escape the pressure to succeed, but simple, always available support.

Support from rituals like the one I was practicing in that moment. Support from eating well, not because I should, but because I'm receiving nourishment. The support of spending time with friends, of asking for and receiving help from colleagues, of breathing when I am anxious or wired.

You can keep the costume
My first thought was that once you relaxed into support, you were supposed to take off the crown. But I saw that you can stay in costume once you settle into support. It's no longer a constraint and a judgment. It's a playful way to express yourself in the world just the way you are. An archetype that, well, supports instead of impedes you.

Relaxing is not escaping
Relaxing into support is not the same as escaping pressure through distraction, contraction, or hiding. It's not numbing yourself with eating, computer games, or oversleeping. (All of which I know intimately.)

It's about waking up to what's already there for you, even when the chips are down. It's about trusting the resources and support you do have instead of straining to be different.

Ritual is the royal road to support
Relaxing into support is easy when all is well. But Wonder Woman's crown isn't a problem when things are going your way. What you need is access to support when you're tired and discouraged. When you're feeling less-than.

And that's where ritual comes in. Simple daily rituals connect you with support, even when you don't feel inspired or connected. Rituals won't always cheer you up or give you energy, but they will keep the channel open.

When the channel of support is open, the down times are shorter and you learn more from them. It's a bit easier to detach from your inner critic. You don't take the bleakness quite so personally.

You're all the super hero you ever need
You have what it takes to do more than middling work. To earn more than a middling income. You don't need to be any bigger than you are to enjoy the life that is just-right for you.

So go ahead, play with your super hero costume. But wear it lightly. It's not really the source of your power.

Back Story: Wonder Woman Confesses
Before Focusing today, I was worried about two projects. One is getting The Goldilocks Strategy home study kit out into the world. The other is building this year's Self Employment Telesummit.

I was big-dealing both of these. Imagining that I needed to make a big splash, be cooler and more talented and more efficient than I am.

Way to get stuck, Molly.

Now I'm downsizing the whole thing. With my crown askew I hereby invite everyone who wants more clients to check out The Goldilocks Strategy for Getting Clients that Fit Just-Right. It's a proven system for reaching the right clients with the products and services they want from you.

And, as you've come to expect, it's not your garden variety, in-your-face, marketing and sales process.

It's rather fun, affordable, and it works.

Check it out HERE.

Photo credit: bbaltimore via flicker
Under a Creative Commons License

Miss Congeniality seeks universal peace by managing for profitability

2010-06-21T18:16:43Z

Photo by: greendragonflygirl via Flickr
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I was sprawled on the floor of a sunny Bainbridge Island living room, thinking about blindspots.

The occasion was the annual retreat of my Brain Trust, a master mind group of five coaches. We were looking at blindspots so our businesses could become more joyful, more prosperous, and bigger contributors to the well being of all sentient beings.

So I'm thinking really, really hard and coming up all sorts of spiritual-sounding things to work on, when Michael Bungay Stanier says to me, "How about managing for profitability"?

How dare he?

Miss Congeniality wakes up to reality
One of the ways I build my business is by making friends and influencing people. It's easy for me to find ways to contribute that lead people to believe I'm smart, credible, reliable. I've got a flair for creating free content--like this article--that people want and share with others. And lest I sound to flippant, I work hard at these contributions and love that they make a difference for people.

And I love, love, love being admired and appreciated. Yum. Seems like managing for profitability to me.

Then, along comes Michael (and the other kick-butt coaches who were there that weekend), and suddenly it occurs to me that I'd made popularity so important that it was actually in the way of profitability. If I had a choice between making a profitable decision and one that would make me look good, I'd take door number two every time.

Miss Personal Growth sees the light
You may be surprised to read this, but I practically invented personal growth. When I was seven I was having insights into limiting beliefs. By eleven I was shifting paradigms with ease. Chalk it up to being fascinated with people (mostly myself) and the workings of minds and hearts.

Add to that the fact that self employment is a personal growth carnival. Every time you turn around there's an attachment to release, a stressful thought to question, a pattern to shift.

It's no surprise that like a few others of my acquaintance, I began to think that working on myself WAS working on my business. When I faced a business challenge, I was more likely to ask what I needed to fix in me than what my business needed from me.

It felt really mature and spiritual. Sometimes it probably was. And other times it was a heckuva good way to avoid taking responsibility for the bottom line.

Miss Teach-What-She-Needs-To-Learn reveals all
Lately I've been ranting about under-earning. That's a direct result of working on my profitability blind spot. The more clearly I see how asleep-at-the-wheel I've been, the more passionate I am about sharing the wake up call with other Accidental Entrepreneurs.

Yes, it's important to have good, even great, relationships with clients and customers. But do you really have clients if you're catering to a fan base that isn't interested in or able to pay you what you want to earn?

And personal growth through business is still my passion. But IS it a business if you're not managing for profitability? Are you truly employed if you're not paying yourself a good salary?

Self-supporting through our own contributions
12-Step programs have a tradition of being self-supporting through members' own contributions. They don't accept grants or gifts from non-members, period. There's an emotional maturity and practical integrity that flows from this choice, and I think it is one that Accidental Entrepreneurs would be wise to entertain.

I know that since I took on the responsibility of managing for profitability I'm far more grounded, and not just in business. I make better decisions because my ego is less involved. I'm in a better position to be generous without losing my balance or burning out.

This is not about making money at all costs. It is about growing up as the creator of the rest of your life. It's like eating food that honors and nourishes your body.

It's healthy, happy, and wise.

Ack! I'm self-employed and I don't want to under-earn any more!
If you love what you do and are blocked from earning enough by fear and confusion, you need "The Way of the Accidental Entrepreneur." That's a bold statement, and I offer it most sincerely. "The Way of the Accidental Entrepreneur" teaches you how to use three simple instructions to get clear, get clients, and get paid. You can learn more about it HERE.