The snarky in my heart recognizes and bows down to the snarky in your heart

Of love, light, and snarkiness

Namaste

If you are in an elevated state of mind tuned into the miracle of life right now, hurrah! I see you. I love you. I’m so glad to know that you are on the planet. I’m thrilled that in this moment you are awake to beauty and light.

If you are struggling for any reason, I feel you. I honor you for showing up to life, even reluctantly. For you I wish an inkling of how perfectly normal (if crummy) it is to feel the way you do. I wish a glimpse of the sunlight at the center of your being. Take it from someone who has lived in the shadow of depression, anxiety, resentment and rage: the weather sucks, and at the heart of it all you are truly whole, infinitely beautiful, and fine. (And lest it not be clear: when I talk about living in the shadow of depression, anxiety, resentment and rage, I mean my own, not someone else’s.)

And for those moments when you judge yourself and come up short in your own estimation, may I share this from the bottom of my heart?

The snarky in my heart recognizes and bows to the snarky in your heart. 

The shame in my heart that I am not a perfect expression of love and wisdom recognizes and bows to the shame in your heart that you are not a perfect expression of love and wisdom.

The Divine that takes form as my heart recognizes and bows to the Divine that is your heart.

However you celebrate (or shun celebration), I wish you all the best. ♥ 

Looking for something to do during the darkest days of the year (or the longest ones, for those in the southern hemisphere)? Check out the audio and video replays of the Wholeness Hangouts. Always free!

How to clear a mental logjam

When we don’t know what to do it is easy to get caught up in a mental logjam. The harder we think and the more things we come up with, the worse it gets. What’s happening is that we’re trying to shift gears without going into neutral. The remedy is to see what we’re doing, stop grinding, and allow the choice of what gear to try next to arise from a neutral place.

Would you like to see even more clearly how to get clear of mental logjams and shift into a meaningful, productive, and joyful gear? Check out The Art of Living: Creating Magic and Meaning in Life and Work. Starts July 5.

Just say YES

The end of one year and beginning of another is often a time of reflection and goal setting. We look back at the year and assess ourselves and our accomplishments, and we look ahead and consider what we want to create or achieve. We may consider what qualities we want to cultivate, what values we want to express, and what we would like to have to show at the end of the year for our efforts.

This reflection and intention setting can be immensely valuable, yet it can also be a trap. We can fall under the spell of self-importance.

This spell may cast a shadow, and in that shadow it will seem that you are not now and never will be enough.

Or it may create a glow so bright that you are impelled to dream up ever bigger, brighter goals without noticing that you are losing touch with your heart.

Whether the spell tricks you into playing small or playing huge, it distracts you from an inner spark, which wants only one thing: that you say yes to life.

Saying yes will sometimes lead to small things and sometimes to large. Wherever it leads, the value of what you are up to in the year ahead will not be determined by the size or scope or apparent importance of your activities. It will be determined by the quality of your YES.

In the weeks and months ahead, I wish you time and space to discover and nurture that spark. To experiment with saying YES in matters large and small.

Because your YES matters, and you are the only one who can utter it.

Is your work is calling…

…but somehow the call isn’t turning into action?

Sometimes you feel the call to show up for your work or business this year, but you aren’t quite sure how to do it. Whether it’s not being clear about what to do or not quite having the confidence to put your choices into action, you need a little help.

The Come Alive and Do the Thing! Mastermind group is designed to help you pick up the phone already.

It’s about answering the call in big and little ways, day in and day out.

It’s about finding your way–the way that really works for who you are and how you want to be–without hype, adrenaline, or pressure.

Come Alive & Do the Thing! will help you tap into your own wisdom and common sense to do what needs to be done. It’s about saying YES to your life and work.

We start January 18. Won’t you join us? ​​​​​​​Click here to learn more about Come Alive & Do the Thing!

Watch where you point that thing!

sling_shot_weaponized_insight_girl-1153564_640

The problem of weaponized insight

A participant in the Come Alive and Do the Thing! Mastermind has a brilliant term for the use of a supposedly wise observation to critique or diminish another person: weaponized insight.

Don’t you love it?

At first it was thrilling to me just to have a term for this phenomenon, but as I sat with it, I started to see some important implications.

A weaponized insight is a weapon, not an insight

The moment an insight becomes weaponized, it stops being an insight and becomes a weapon.

This goes a long way to explaining what’s going on when we use our own insights against ourselves.

Insights and weapons are inherently different

An insight produces a shift in awareness. It tends to expand awareness, deepen connection, and elevate consciousness.

A weapon has the opposite effect. It shrinks awareness as the person against whom it is being used goes into fight or flight.

It breaks the connection between the one who wields the weapon and the one against whom it is wielded.

And it tends to lower one’s level of consciousness to the realms of competition and survival.

When we use insight to assess, judge, and berate ourselves, it stops being insight

Weaponized insights aren’t always wielded by others. Some of the most pernicious are the ones we wield against ourselves.

How often have you argued with yourself about why you aren’t using your hard-won insights or following your wisdom in some area of your life?

I don’t know about you, but that has confused the hell out of me. How can I be so incredibly smart (just saying) and so incredibly stuck at the same time?

It’s because I’m confusing self flagellation with insight.

There is nothing insightful about any attack on your inherent okayness

Any so-called insight that calls into question your inherent okayness has been weaponized.

Since there is nothing wrong with you, any insight wrapped in the message that there is, is false.

Something that points at how you are (presumably) broken takes you in the wrong direction–but only entirely.

Put down the weapon first

I used to try to pry the insight apart from the weapon. My logic went something like this.

If I could only get the message of the insight, the weaponized message would not longer apply or hurt.

That didn’t work.

The weapon didn’t stop being a weapon until I simply put it down, even at the risk of dropping a seemingly good insight.

I began to see that wholeness is key

As I dropped my weaponized insights, I began to see the vital importance of beginning with the premise that every human being is created whole and deserving.

I saw how our relentless compulsions to judge, evaluate, and improve ourselves actually block access to deeper impulses toward goodness and creativity.

And I saw how authentic insight points us toward our underlying wholeness and connects us to those deeper impulses.

Here’s to freedom

Weaponized insights wound and diminish.

Authentic insight heals and expands. It can sting, but the sting is bracing and enlivening.

That distinction is liberating. Play with it. Take it for a test drive. And let me know what you discover.

Have a wonderful, wonder-filled week, and please share your thoughts and questions in the comments on my blog.

Love,

mollysig125

Images by Pixabay.com

You are the man behind the curtain: An invitation to see the magic in your life

 

One of the many memorable scenes in “The Wizard of Oz” shows Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion finally standing before the Great and Powerful Oz. They have come to present him with the broom belonging to the Wicked Witch of the West after having conquered her with a bucket of water. Oz thunders at them mightily and tries to put them off, but as he blusters and blasts, Toto, Dorothy’s tiny dog, pulls back a curtain and reveals that the wizard is just an ordinary man pulling levers in a magic show.

There’s always a man behind the curtain

The same thing happens whenever we see through the illusion created moment to moment by our thinking. One minute we are gripped by the certainty that the feelings and perceptions before us are real, and in the next, we see that they are projections of our amazing power of thought. One morning last week I had a realization about a long-standing story I sometimes live about not being a good-enough sister or friend or neighbor. I noticed how I’ve resisted and resented and avoided that story, and how that sets up a tug-of-war inside of me, an internal argument about being kind. I took out my notebook and made a simple list of related stories that came to mind.

  • They need me.
  • I should do more.
  • I am not thoughtful.
  • Etc.

I burned the list. It was funny. The paper in that particular notebook must have a special coating. It resisted burning. On top of that, it was a windy day. I used up half a book of matches failing to burn the list on our burn pile. Finally I got a ceramic bowl and found a place by the front door relatively sheltered from the wind. It still took at lot of matches, but that sucker is burned.

Back to the Wizard

In the movie, after the curtain is pulled back, the phony wizard is able to endow each of the characters with his or her wish. How does a phony wizard pull that off? He does it by revealing to each of them that they already had what they sought. The Scarecrow may have thought that brains lived in the diploma, which the Wizard granted him, but we know that his intelligence was there all along. The Tin Man’s heart was apparent throughout the movie, long before the Wizard gave him a heart-shaped clock. And the courage of the beloved Cowardly Lion shone through repeatedly as he shivered and shook, but stayed the course in spite of his fears. Clearly his courage was not the result of receiving a medal. And Dorothy? Dorothy wanted to go home. Home, a place that lived right there inside of her.

The magic worked by the Wizard is ours every minute of every day

You could say that the magic of the Wizard was to show each person that they themselves were the power behind the illusions they had been living, and that they had equal power to see through those illusions and come home to their wholeness and wellbeing. We have that same magic at our disposal. Whenever we see through our thoughts to the intelligence and wellbeing of which we are made, we come home. We encounter our intelligence, our compassion, and our courage.

What I noticed after burning those stories

After burning my stories about not being nice or compassionate or caring enough, I continued to reflect on those qualities. After all, I do want to be kind, compassionate, and caring. I noticed that thoughts about care and compassion can come from many sources. When it comes from an identity that is attached to being good enough, an identity that wants to be liked, or any other identity projected from a sense of insufficiency or incompleteness, thoughts about care and compassion are rooted in those things. But there are other times when those thoughts seem to stem from a different identity, one that is resourced in lovingkindness and that is not afraid or attached to outcomes.

Our hearts can always tell which identity is at work behind the curtain

Our personal thinking can get very confused about this, but our hearts can tell in an instant when we are operating from lovingkindness, which is another way of saying that we are connected with our true nature. It was good to see that what seemed to be the same drives or intentions can be generated from quite different sources. I don’t know about you, but there have been times when I have been trapped in my stories because I was afraid of losing something, like the will to be kind. How lovely to see the difference between the root of kindness, which can never be lost, and my stories about kindness, which can sometimes be quite distorted.

Burning didn’t dispel my stories

I burned my stories as a physical expression of an inner knowing: that the stories that I live are made of smoke and mirrors. It was satisfying to witness their return to smoke, but in no way necessary. The freedom we seek from our stories is ours as soon as we see that we are always the man behind the curtain. Have a wonderful, wonder-filled week, and please let me know what you’re discovering by sharing it in the comments.

Love,

 

 

Click here to learn about my newest program, The Art of Living: Creating Magic and Meaning in Life and Work.

Video credit: The Critical Commons

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