Sometimes we lives as though there is a way things should unfold, that certain things should happen and other things shouldn’t. Our spouses should be faithful. Loved ones should not get cancer. When we look more closely, though, we see that doesn’t make any sense at all.
What does it mean to get decisions right? What is our responsibility when it comes to making the best decisions we can? And who’s in charge anyway? A meditation on our shared human dilemma and a tiny perspective on choosing mastectomy. Yikes!
Woohoo! The first in a series of free Happiness Hangouts happens this Friday, August 8, at 9:00am Pacific Daylight Time and YOU are invited.
Why? Because it happens that happiness doesn’t just feel good; it’s startlingly practical.
As the name suggests, Happiness Hangouts are all about happiness and its startling bearing on life and biz. We’ll look at:
- Why happiness is a default, not a destination.
- The relationship between happiness and wisdom.
- How to use happiness as a navigational aid in life and business.
There will be some teaching and some coaching and some who-knows-what-else. Think insight meets pragmatism meets sassiness. (Hmmm. The term “wise sass” just occurred to me. I like that!)
How It Works
Happiness Hangouts will use Google’s Hangouts on Air technology to broadcast a live video feed of yours truly. You can watch the live feed on a page at my Web site or via Google+. If you have a Gmail account, I recommend the Google+ option, because you’ll be able to see and participate in the live chat.
In addition to watching, you can participate in the Hangout by teleconference. You’ll receive all the info about how to watch and/or call in when you sign up. You’ll get replay info as well.
Are you in?
Click the link below to sign up for the free Happiness Hangouts.
I hope you’ll be able to join me!
It all started at the end of March during a retreat with my beloved Brain Trust*. As we talked about who I am and how I want to be in this, my 18th year as a coach, I realized that it was time to invoke the spirit of creativity and experimentation by letting go of this ezine and devoting myself to creating cool new stuff that will arouse, inform, entertain, and, one hopes, delight you.
You see, I love to make stuff. The photo in today’s issue is of the “vest” I made for my ’67 VW Beetle. I love to play with ideas, fiddle with designs, and experiment with new formats and media. In 1996, I put that love to work building my first website and convening conversations in early online communities such as womenconnect.com and AOL special interest groups. In 1998, I started this ezine, and in less than two years it was reaching over 12,000.
Back in the day, email newsletters were few and far between. Junk mail was sparse, and inboxes spacious. Since then, ezines have become as common as dust, and even when we value them–as I hope you have valued this one–they often languish unopened and unread. As open rates have declined, my sense of connection to you, my readers, has lessened. I don’t like the idea of adding every week to the clutter in your inboxes. I want to add value, not noise.
In the future, instead of a weekly ezine, you’ll receive an announcement whenever I’ve got a new cool thing to give you. An insightful interview. A provocative slidedoc. My latest cartoons. Heck, for all I know I’ll sing and dance for you, so long as I think it will serve you. In between cool things, I’ll let you know as usual when I offer a new product or program or when I come across something, whether it’s free or fee-based, that I think is worth your consideration.
I’m thrilled at the prospect of putting my creative energy to work in new ways to entertain, inform, provoke, and inspire you. Fans of my Facebook page are already seeing tidbits of creative goodness a few times a week. Check it out, and while you are there, feel free to post your questions and insights to the timeline. I would love to know what’s on your mind and in your heart. Oh, and if you haven’t already, be sure to give me a LIKE so that updates appear in your newsfeed, www.facebook.com/shaboominc.
I haven’t made any decisions about the blog. I rather think I’ll be posting the odd (!) insight, observation, or link from time to time. To subscribe, add this link to your blog reader: feed://shaboominc.com/wordpress/feed.
Whether you have been a reader since the early days or are a recent subscriber, I hope you’ll enjoy and benefit from what emerges in the days ahead. Meanwhile, thanks for coming along on the adventure.
*The members of the Brain Trust are
Michael Bungay Stanier, boxofcrayons.com
Eric Klein, wisdomheart.com
Michele Lisenbury Christensen, hotloverevolution.com
Jennifer Louden, jenniferlouden.com
Mark Silver, heartofbusiness.com
During the calls we talked about the essential wholeness and wellbeing that is our factory default as human beings. How we are each an expression of and participant in the dance of creation, part of the formless energy or intelligence out of which everything arises and to which everything returns.
We talked about how the experience of scarcity or abundance is a function of thought, not circumstances. Consider how easy it is to be elated about getting a new client only to be deflated moments later by comparing yourself to someone else in your field.
Or how a funk about not being able to afford to travel more can give way to a wave of gratitude as you contemplate something you love about your home.
If you reflect for just a minute on your own experience, you can readily see that what seems like more than enough money in one moment can seem woefully inadequate in the next and vice versa as your thinking about your circumstances changes.
We live in the feeling of our thinking, not our circumstances.
At first blush it might seem that a smart approach to being happy and prosperous would be to manage your thinking. Think happy thoughts, have a happy life. Think prosperous thoughts, have a prosperous business.
In other words, just say no to scarcity thinking.
But it doesn’t work that way. (Besides, when you think about it, it’s kind of superstitious, don’t you think?)
It’s said that we have upwards of 80,000 thoughts a day. We notice and track only a tiny fraction of those. It’s simply not possible to manipulate your thinking to create the experiences you want.
Fortunately it’s also unnecessary.
You don’t have to fear scarcity thinking precisely because it is just thinking. And thinking can’t damage the wellbeing that is your factory default. At most it can only obscure it temporarily.
When you see that all that is going on when you’re afraid, angry, or insecure is that you’re experiencing your thinking, you can relax a bit, even though the experience may be quite intense.
When you remember that you are the thinker, you don’t need to fear the content of your thinking.
When you don’t fear or struggle with the content of your thinking, your mind is free and open to new thought, including the insight, wisdom, and common sense to live peacefully and well.
And that’s why you don’t need to fear scarcity thinking.
Photoy by Images of Money
But you actually can’t miss out unless you lock on.
Here’s what I mean.
We tend to think of opportunities as if they exist out in the world. But opportunities are a function of thought.
When you recognize an opportunity (it takes shape as a thought), you construct a virtual reality around it. Then you hold that reality in mind while you walk around inside it, testing possible scenarios and weighing the consequences of each.
That’s an amazing human capacity, and it’s incredibly rewarding when you’re in a spacious and creative frame of mind. But when you’re afraid of missing out, making a wrong move, or overlooking a ramification, it’s exhausting.
And it leads you to a dead end.
The more you fear missing out on an opportunity, the more you lock on, putting more and more of your attention onto that tiny subset of possibilities. Because that’s all you see, you start to believe that’s all there is.
You know you’ve locked on when your thinking gets muddier as the stakes skyrocket and your options shrink. The more important it becomes that you get this right, the less clear you are about what you should do.
You can’t think your way out of virtual reality lock-down. But you can recognize that you thought your way into it.
You can take off the goggles and headset.
You can relax and know that as your mind quiets and your mood lightens you’ll naturally see new possibilities.
In a universe of infinite potential, there’s just no such thing as an opportunity too important to miss.
Photo Credit: John Nicholls via Flickr