This video is a bit longer than usual. It’s all about the freedom we have to make up whatever game we choose to play in life from what matters to what we create to how we keep score. We can’t control the outcomes, but we have infinite choice over the inputs. When we shift our focus from outcomes to inputs, we see that rocking the game of life is more like making art than it is about winning races. Along the way I touch on choosing to work on a gift basis and marrying The Charming Prince. I enjoyed sharing this ride with you, and I hope it leaves you with a good feeling for how much freedom, possibility, and joy are available to you. ♥
In January, 2016, I wrote:
Miracles begin when you do.
So often we look for the right place to begin. And like trying to figure out how to get out of bed or how to write, looking for the place to begin is precisely what keeps you from doing so.
The beginning is here and now with you…. If you want miracles, start by noticing that you are one.
Perhaps you recognize truth in that, but right now you need to pay the rent, find love, or get clients.
It’s a lovely idea, but you’ve got problems to solve before you can lounge around grooving on yourself as a miracle.
I get it.
Some days stepping into miracle seems like denial, delusion, or avoidance
Problems can look so compelling that, while we would dearly love a miracle, we’re pretty sure that looking for one would be a phenomenal waste of time and a diversion of energy from doing what has to be done.
But ah! I’m not talking about looking for a miracle
There’s a gigantic, spectacular difference between looking for a miracle in a “Please, Universe, get over here and save my freaking butt” way and stepping into the miracle that underlies everything, including us.
Stepping into miracle is not passive. It’s not the desperate act of a delusional victim seeking rescue from a cosmic magician. It’s a turning toward the creative source of all innovation, beauty, and love and taking step after modest step in response to the inklings, insights, and ideas that arise in each moment.
Stepping into miracle is eminently practical
Artists do it all the time. So, in their way, do the best scientists, physicians, athletes, and parents. They feel their way, drawing from an energy and intelligence that can’t be adequately captured in words.
We’re actually already there
In reality, there is not stepping into or out of miracle, there is only realization of what is already here. But stepping into miracle can be a useful metaphor, because it reminds us to act. To engage. To step into life.
Insight reveals miracle
The deep miracle that permeates life is invisible to the intellect, but insight makes it palpable. If you’d like to see and feel and dance with miracle in your life, join me for The Art of Living, Rediscovering Magic and Meaning in Life and Work. We will be exploring the Principles behind miracle so that you can see it at work and lean into it. The Art of Living begins Wednesday, July 5th, and I would love to have you in the group. Click here to learn more.
Here’s what others have said about The Art of Living
Molly’s guidance broke me through some long-standing blocks that had been frustrating me in life and business. Now I feel that I have a new set of references, and I’m on a whole new ball game. She is a wonderful, generous teacher and guide. Twelve weeks was a perfect span to make essential changes. Deborah Clare Proctor, New Ways of Being Me
I am writing my first book (never having got past an outline before). If you are at a crossroads or have some part-buried creative aspiration that you’ve always found reasons to suppress, then this course can open things up in ways you can’t predict. Juliet Fay, Writer, coach and social entrepreneur
The Art of Living starts July 5th
I once heard in a 12 Step meeting, “I’ve been around these rooms for 35 years. The bad news is that every five years I got a new set of problems. The good news is that they were always higher quality problems.” There’s a lot of truth in this. We learn and grow, and our baseline awareness of our wellbeing, our capacity, our potential increases. Overall, we are doing better. At the same time, life continues to happen. We continue to experience ups and downs. If we focus on the ups and downs, we can overlook the fact that, overall, we really have made progress.
There are times in life when we’re doing just fine, even spectacularly, but for our confused thinking about how we are doing. Rather than trying to do better, we can drop our story about how we’re doing and discover the natural genius that’s already at work.
Two steps forward, one step back may be a problematic strategy for running a marathon. But what if life is not a race, but a dance? And what if YOU get to choose which one it will be?
The problem of weaponized insight
A participant in the Come Alive and Do the Thing! Mastermind has a brilliant term for the use of a supposedly wise observation to critique or diminish another person: weaponized insight.
Don’t you love it?
At first it was thrilling to me just to have a term for this phenomenon, but as I sat with it, I started to see some important implications.
A weaponized insight is a weapon, not an insight
The moment an insight becomes weaponized, it stops being an insight and becomes a weapon.
This goes a long way to explaining what’s going on when we use our own insights against ourselves.
Insights and weapons are inherently different
An insight produces a shift in awareness. It tends to expand awareness, deepen connection, and elevate consciousness.
A weapon has the opposite effect. It shrinks awareness as the person against whom it is being used goes into fight or flight.
It breaks the connection between the one who wields the weapon and the one against whom it is wielded.
And it tends to lower one’s level of consciousness to the realms of competition and survival.
When we use insight to assess, judge, and berate ourselves, it stops being insight
Weaponized insights aren’t always wielded by others. Some of the most pernicious are the ones we wield against ourselves.
How often have you argued with yourself about why you aren’t using your hard-won insights or following your wisdom in some area of your life?
I don’t know about you, but that has confused the hell out of me. How can I be so incredibly smart (just saying) and so incredibly stuck at the same time?
It’s because I’m confusing self flagellation with insight.
There is nothing insightful about any attack on your inherent okayness
Any so-called insight that calls into question your inherent okayness has been weaponized.
Since there is nothing wrong with you, any insight wrapped in the message that there is, is false.
Something that points at how you are (presumably) broken takes you in the wrong direction–but only entirely.
Put down the weapon first
I used to try to pry the insight apart from the weapon. My logic went something like this.
If I could only get the message of the insight, the weaponized message would not longer apply or hurt.
That didn’t work.
The weapon didn’t stop being a weapon until I simply put it down, even at the risk of dropping a seemingly good insight.
I began to see that wholeness is key
As I dropped my weaponized insights, I began to see the vital importance of beginning with the premise that every human being is created whole and deserving.
I saw how our relentless compulsions to judge, evaluate, and improve ourselves actually block access to deeper impulses toward goodness and creativity.
And I saw how authentic insight points us toward our underlying wholeness and connects us to those deeper impulses.
Here’s to freedom
Weaponized insights wound and diminish.
Authentic insight heals and expands. It can sting, but the sting is bracing and enlivening.
That distinction is liberating. Play with it. Take it for a test drive. And let me know what you discover.
Have a wonderful, wonder-filled week, and please share your thoughts and questions in the comments on my blog.
Images by Pixabay.com