What if it’s perfect? You, your life, the whole thing…

Timothy Gallwey, author of The Inner Game of Tennis, has said that life is a perfectly designed workshop. The part I didn’t realize when I heard that, and which I see know, is that each of us is also perfectly designed for our lives. There is no test we need to pass. Nothing to prove.

I’m still experiencing a bit of brain fog post-surgery*, so I made this a very short video. I invite you to watch it to catch the feeling, and then to play with what shows up for you. Do let me know what you see!

*On April 11th I had surgery to complete breast reconstruction following my mastectomy in 2015. If you are curious about it, you are welcome to visit my CaringBridge journal. Everything’s going swimmingly. 🙂

Where does wellbeing come from?

Where does wellbeing come from? Join me in a thought experiment to uncover for yourself the source of your wellbeing. Find out where it comes from, how to access it, and just how little it has to do with what you may have believed about it in the past. To play, simply wonder and reflect on times when you have experienced wellbeing in your life. Don’t try to analyse, codify, or evaluate what comes up. Keep an open mind and see what you see.

Come to a Free Wholeness Hangout on Wellbeing

Join me and my mentor, Linda Pransky, on Tuesday, April 25, 2017, for an exploration of wellbeing: what it is, where it comes from, and how understanding these things changes everything. If you can’t join us live, or if you are seeing this after the fact, click on through and catch the replay.

Force doesn’t help us change or improve

Whether it’s replacing the memory in your computer, swapping out vacuum cleaner attachments, or improving your state of mind, forcing things never works. The key to finding grace, resilience, endurance, or whatever we really need in a given situation is to be with what is happening, not to fight against it.

Wendi Saggese and I ended up exploring this in some depth during the March Wholeness Hangout. You can watch the replay (or download the audio) here. 

Your wellbeing is not controlled by your circumstances

Your wellbeing is not controlled by your circumstances. Moment by moment, we live in the feeling of our thinking, not our circumstances. Our resilience, wellbeing, and creativity are innate, not circumstantial. It doesn’t always feel this way; we all get caught up in the illusion of our thinking from time to time. But the more you cultivate your awareness of your fundamental, innate okayness, the more you will come to see through the ups and downs of your thought-generated experience. Nelson Mandela comes to mind as exemplifying how a human being can access wisdom, resilience, and wellbeing even in the midst of horrific circumstances. He was not an exception. You have the same capacity.

You can settle down even when time is short

I received this comment on YouTube In response to last week’s video, Settling Down Comes Naturally.

This feels so true, Molly. It’s so hard to do when  you have important decisions to make with a time limit, when you feel your options are limited and you’re not liking any of them. Wish there was a button I could press to settle myself down!

This week’s video acknowledges how it can feel hard to settle down in urgent situations, but in fact, urgency does not need to ramp us up. When we see that being ramped up is a function of our thinking about the situation, not the situation itself, we recover the capacity to see clearly and act from a settled down place even when there are only seconds in which to make a life or death decision.

Settling down comes naturally

A key to effective action is to be settled down rather than reactive. The great things is that settling down happens naturally. It begins as soon as we recognize that we have gotten ramped up. When we notice that and stay out of the way, we naturally begin to settle. Just as children forget about their tantrums within minutes, we can allow our moods to pass.

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