Your wellbeing is not controlled by your circumstances. Moment by moment, we live in the feeling of our thinking, not our circumstances. Our resilience, wellbeing, and creativity are innate, not circumstantial. It doesn’t always feel this way; we all get caught up in the illusion of our thinking from time to time. But the more you cultivate your awareness of your fundamental, innate okayness, the more you will come to see through the ups and downs of your thought-generated experience. Nelson Mandela comes to mind as exemplifying how a human being can access wisdom, resilience, and wellbeing even in the midst of horrific circumstances. He was not an exception. You have the same capacity.
I received this comment on YouTube In response to last week’s video, Settling Down Comes Naturally.
This feels so true, Molly. It’s so hard to do when you have important decisions to make with a time limit, when you feel your options are limited and you’re not liking any of them. Wish there was a button I could press to settle myself down!
This week’s video acknowledges how it can feel hard to settle down in urgent situations, but in fact, urgency does not need to ramp us up. When we see that being ramped up is a function of our thinking about the situation, not the situation itself, we recover the capacity to see clearly and act from a settled down place even when there are only seconds in which to make a life or death decision.
Human beings are inherently resilient. We wobble, sometimes we wobble a lot. But there is something at our foundation that steadies us even in the midst of great upheaval. Wobbling doesn’t always feel good, but it doesn’t mean that we aren’t okay.
Now and throughout the year, as you consider the impact you are having and want to have in the world, consider not just the apparent importance of your role (the size of your game) but look also at the quality of your yes. We can never know when the most important conversation in the world is taking place!
Too often we try to improve our human experience by managing it. We celebrate our highs and try to maximize them. We critique our lows and try to root them out. Though we do it in all innocence, all that managing and editorializing actually interferes with our inborn ability to learn, grown, and adapt. In this video I share a story about the time I tried to sail a boat with my buns by way of illustrating the futility of managing our experience with our thinking.
At the Three Principles Global Community Conference in Los Angeles at the end of October, I was struck by an insight shared by Mara Gleason and Eirik Grunde Olsen, founders of One Solution. Mara and Eirik created a successful international conference in just five months, and one of the reasons it worked out is that they didn’t get hung up on getting the form right. Instead they stayed oriented to the infinite, limitless creative capacity out of which all forms emerge.
As I listened to Eirik and Mara I thought about all the times I have been stopped because of internal or external criticism. It occurred to me that stopping oneself because of criticism is akin to stopping a flower mid-bloom because something isn’t quite right. It just doesn’t make sense. If that sounds familiar to you, may this video wake up a different response to negative feedback.