Reminder–free Wholeness Hangout: Why does coaching work, when it does?

WynsmallQuick reminder that this Friday, November 13, at 11am PT (2pm ET, 7pm UK), my guest Wyn Morgan and I will be exploring why coaching works–when it does.

I would LOVE for you to join us as we ask:

What makes coaching “work” when it works?
What’s missing when it doesn’t?
What’s the difference between transformational coaching and other modalities or traditions?

No advance registration is required to join this Zoom conference. To participate, just click the link below a few minutes before the scheduled time. You’ll be able to join from your computer or by phone. If you join by phone, tolls may apply.

If you will be joining from a Mac or PC and this is your first time using Zoom,
please come to the Hangout a few minutes early to allow time to download the
free Zoom client. This download will happen automatically when you follow the
above link from your Web browser.

If you want to join from an iOS or Android device, please install the free Zoom
app of your choice in advance so that you are ready to go when the Hangout begins.

I hope you will join us!



Why Life Hacks Don’t Work (and What Does)

Last week at a coaching conference one of the speakers held forth about her wildly successful book on the formation of habits, habits that, in her view, lead to success.

Among other things, she proposed a model to explain why some people do what’s good for them and some people don’t (and some people do it some of the time but not other times). She went on to name some of the 21 (!) strategies that she had codified for forming habits that lead to success.

Her suggestion for a useful exercise was for us to sort ourselves into groups according to her model and come up with mottoes for our “types.”

Can you see how instead of pointing us inward toward the source of our moment to moment experience, she was pointing us outward, toward her model? Not only that, she was asking us to invest our creative energy and attention into developing her model, dressing it up with mottoes.

Say what?

The world is overflowing with models and life hacks that don’t work.

You are a human being, a creature with infinite potential, not a robot who could benefit from an operating system upgrade.

Instead of looking outside for models of success, look inside toward the source that inspires and catalyzes human beings of all sorts to do extraordinary things.

Have you noticed that sometimes you just feel alive? Really alive?

And have you noticed that when you come alive, life works?

And have you noticed that sometimes coming alive happens regardless of your circumstances? It can happen when you have bills to pay (and no money in the bank). It can happen when you or the people you love are sick.

That’s because coming alive has absolutely nothing to do with your circumstances. It happens before and underneath them.

Coming alive is the realization of what you already are, not a new accomplishment.

It’s what the mystics and sages are pointing to when they tell us that all is well and all manner of things be well.

And when you are in touch with the underlying okayness, when you let that okayness unfold and reveal your true aliveness, life just works.

An invitation to “Come Alive and Do the Thing”

As you can perhaps tell, I care a lot about this. I care so much that, for the first time in nearly three years, I’m forming a mastermind group and calling it “Come Alive and Do the Thing.”

Come Alive and Do the Thing is about two things: experiencing your aliveness and taking action in the world.

It’s about letting go of analysis paralysis and embracing the game of life wholeheartedly.

It’s about connecting deeply with the formless energy that animates all things and showing up regularly as a creator in the world of form.

It’s where insight meets action, and I would love to have you along for the ride.

Come Alive and Do the Thing begins December 1

I’ve known I wanted to convene a coaching group to explore this territory, but until I sat down to write this article, I didn’t know what it would look like. The details are still coming into focus, and here’s what I know so far.

Come Alive and Do the Thing will be limited to eight persons. We will meet weekly on Tuesdays at 9:00am Pacific time (noon Eastern, 4:00pm UK) beginning Tuesday, December 1, 2015. We will get a running start before the turning of the year!

Meetings will by video-conferences using the Zoom platform, and there will be a private Facebook group for connecting between meetings.

I’m working on a web page for the group now and will email you as soon as it goes live. I expect registration to open on Thursday, November 5th. Because it is such a small group (and it has been so long since I have offered a mastermind), I expect it to fill quickly.

If you have questions now, feel free to email me.

Yes, you can still sign up for Pay What You Choose Coaching

Whether or not you feel called to this new group, remember that you can request a coaching session with me on a Pay What You Choose basis. Pay What You Choose means exactly that: you choose how much to pay based on your resources and the value you perceive. Details are here:
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The Value of Honest Doubt

The Value of Honest Doubt

500_honest_doubtHave you ever run yourself mentally haggard trying to convince yourself to see a spiritual truth more deeply or clearly than you actually do?

It’s easy to do. After all, the fundamental principles behind the human experience are quite simple to articulate. According to Sydney Banks, Mind is the infinite formless intelligent energy behind all things. Consciousness is our ability to know reality and our ability to understand how our reality is created by thoughts. Thought is a source of all mental activities and source of all feeling, actions and reactions.

Our experience in any given moment is created by the interplay of these principles.

When I first came across Syd’s teachings, I was frankly underwhelmed. I didn’t disagree; I just didn’t see anything earthshaking. I had studied intensively with Byron Katie, and the notion that thought generated our experience seemed obvious.

Still, I kept returning to Syd’s work because of the profound changes I saw in people who had been influenced by him. And one day my own understanding shifted, deepened, expanded, and what had seemed obvious and verging on trivial started to blow my mind.

I’ve shared many of the insights that have emerged from that in previous blog posts and videos, but I want to take a little different look at things today.

You see, there’s a way in which we can become addicted to knowing. We can chase insights as if our wellbeing lies in having more of them.

When actually, our wellbeing is nonnegotiable. Invariable. Innate.

Our essential wholeness does not depend on our moment to moment experience of life. As I’ve written before, we don’t have to feel okay to be okay.

But damn! I don’t know about you, but sometimes all I really want is to feel okay. Which last week had me wrestling with this notion of essential wholeness. I was frustrated by feeling fragmented and, frankly, stupid. Where was my innate wellbeing? Where was wisdom?

How could I get there from where I was?

What good does it do me to have a theoretical understanding that I am okay when I feel cornered by the limits of my current thinking?

And then something funny happened.

It occurred to me to simply doubt.

To drop the gospel.

To quit trying to feel or believe or find wholeness and wisdom.

To drop my story that I should trust it.

And to drop into my honest in that moment experience of WTF? Where is it?

To ask in an open hearted and abandoned way, are we really whole? Does God or Mind or whatever you call it have our backs?

Where is wisdom? Is it really always on, only sometimes obscured?

I dropped into the questions, which had a whole different feel from struggling to believe in the answers.

And I can’t account for just how or why, but as the days passed, I started to get a glimmer.

A felt sense of something beneath the surface.

Not an intellectual understanding, but the barest shimmer or breath of a feeling that something is there.

Dim. As yet unknown. But palpable.

I don’t know what, if anything, that does for you, but it did a lot for me. Somehow out of my honest doubt I had touched bedrock.

I don’t know what the bedrock is. What it means. How to talk about it.

But I know down to my toenails that it is there.

Thank you, doubt.

Your turn: What’s your experience with what Byron Katie has called trying to live beyond your current level of evolution? What might doubt have to offer you?




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